


the harsh light of day

by sevensevan



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, Trans Girl Oz, set between s5 and s6 so there's mentions of dead buffy but obvi shes not perma dead, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 16:44:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17491583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevensevan/pseuds/sevensevan
Summary: After a rough full moon, Oz wakes up in her ex-girlfriends' bed.





	the harsh light of day

**Author's Note:**

> request from worn-whorehouse-stairs on tumblr: tara/willow/oz + post-breakup au: "i was so sleep-deprived after the night shift that i climbed into bed with you (and you just rolled with it)" with full moon subbed for night shift. hope y'all enjoy.

Oz wakes up alone.

She rolls over, pulling her face out of the pillow it had been buried in and groaning. It’s been three years, and still, the full moon hasn’t gotten any easier. She can control herself now, keep the wolf from hurting anyone, and she doesn’t even shift the nights before and after, but she has to let it out on the full moon itself. She’d go crazy otherwise.

Oz rubs at her eyes, blinking wearily at the ceiling above her. It’s not the one in her room in the house she shares with the band. Her room at the house is covered in posters and decals, the ceiling itself not even visible. This ceiling is bare, painted a dull off-white.

Reluctantly, Oz sits up, wincing against her throbbing headache. She glances around the room, and her throat constricts as she realizes where she is.

Tara and Willow’s room in Buffy’s old house.

The door opens, and Oz’s heart leaps into her throat. Tara walks in, closing the door quietly behind her. She’s carrying a mug, and Oz’s werewolf senses pick up on the scent of coffee from across the room.

“Good morning,” Tara says, crossing the room and setting the coffee on the night stand. She sits down on the edge of the bed, lacing her fingers together in her lap and looking at Oz. Oz clears her throat.

“Morning,” she says. The words come out a little too deep, a little too rough, and she winces at the sound of her own voice. Tara notices, of course, but she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t point it out and make it worse. She’s always been good at handling Oz’s issues.

“Do you remember how you got here?” Tara asks. Oz frowns, thinking back to the night before. She remembers the transformation, still more painful than anything else she could imagine. She remembers running through the woods, dirt between her claws, howling until her lungs felt like they would burst.

(Being the wolf feels good sometimes, even if she would never admit it.)

“I ate a deer,” Oz says, licking her lips unconsciously. Tara half-smiles, looking down at her hands. “No, I don’t remember.”

“You came in just before sunrise,” Tara says. “Just…came in and climbed into bed and went to sleep. You nearly gave Willow a h-heart attack.” Oz exhales.

“But I didn’t hurt anyone?” She’s had control over the wolf for over a year now, but it’s still a thought she has after every full moon. That’s one wolf instinct she can never let out.

“No,” Tara says immediately. “No, everyone is fine.” Oz leans back against the headboard of the bed, closing her eyes for a moment.

“Good,” she says. “Good.” She takes another deep breath before sitting up and opening her eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what—I’ll leave.” Oz throws her legs over the side of the bed and begins to stand, but she’s stopped by Tara’s hand on her arm.

“Oz,” Tara says quietly. “Do you know why Willow and I broke up with you?” Oz laughs. It’s not a happy sound.

“Because I’m a selfish jerk who abandoned you both when you needed me?” she asks. “Because I let my own grief over Buffy stop me from being there for Willow after her best friend died? Because I ran away from you both?  _Again_?”

“Yes,” Tara says. Oz bites her lip savagely, holding back the maelstrom of emotions in her chest. “But also because we knew you needed time.” Oz looks up at her, shaking her head slightly in confusion. Tara lets go of Oz’s arm, but Oz doesn’t make another move to leave. “You needed to do this on your own, Oz,” Tara says. Her voice is gentle, nonjudgmental. “You needed to process what happened to Buffy, a-and to me, and we knew you would do it better on your own.” Oz shakes her head, her hair falling in front of her face.

“That doesn’t matter,” she says. “I should’ve been there for you. I still should.”

“You should be,” Tara agrees. “And when you’re ready to come back, it’s going to be a long, hard road to get back to where we were. But I don’t blame you.” Oz looks up at Tara through her hair.

“And Willow?” Oz asks, fully aware of the raw desperation in her voice. “Is she…”

“She’s angry,” Tara says. “But she loves you. We both do. Whenever you’re ready, honey, we can start working things out.” Oz takes a full breath for the first time in what feels like weeks. Since the fight they’d all had after Buffy’s funeral, she’s been walking around with a weight on her chest. It’s still there, but she can breathe again.

“Thanks, Tara,” Oz whispers. Tara kisses her forehead.

“Always,” she murmurs. “Now, come eat breakfast with us. Dawn misses you, too.” Oz nods, swallowing back the tears that are threatening to burst forth.

“I’ll get dressed,” she whispers. “Are my clothes still—”

“Where you left them,” Tara confirms. She stands, walking back over to the door. “I like your hair, by the way.” Oz reaches up, touching the streaks she had dyed into her hair the week before. It had been an impulsive decision in the middle of the night, when she couldn’t sleep, thinking about everything that had happened, Buffy being…gone.

(Oz has made a lot of those choices lately.)

“Thanks,” Oz says. Tara smiles at her and leaves the room. Oz looks out the window. The sun is up, flooding the room with warm light.

The wolf will come back in another month, but maybe by then, Oz won’t be waking up alone.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr @daisys-quake and on twitter @thoughtsintoink. keep an eye out for my upcoming fuffy au bc i Am Actually Writing for once! leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed.


End file.
